I’m thinking of starting something new, just for those lazy Sundays.
It’s been forever since I’ve blogged, and I honestly miss it so much, but because of COVID and work and everything that this pandemic entails, I’ve felt so low on energy and have had little content to post about. But I have had some internal motivation to at least start writing again, even if I have no pictures to post. Partially for my sanity, and partially for my boredom.
So I think on Sundays (or at least the ones I can remember), I’m going to just post updates on my thoughts and my interests that have peaked during the week. This could be a mix of constructive thoughts to simple musings, but it’ll be nice just to put things out there. It may not have much of a structured feeling for a while, until I get things a little more figured out, but that’s okay.
So here goes.
Things I’ve Been Wanting
I’ve totally been craving all things fall. I know I shouldn’t take the summer and warm weather for granted, but what the hell am I supposed to do with the fear of getting sick?? So here are some of my current autumn aesthetics that I’m lusting over.
Things I’ve Been Watching/Reading/Listening
Okay, honestly, if you haven’t seen this show, you should really go watch it because it’s amazing and I’m in love. This show really makes me miss Miami, but was also a perfect show to kind of end the summer on. It’s the perfect mix of romance, drama, and comedy (and a total play off of telenovellas).
But when Autumn starts up, I am so ready to be jumping back into Gilmore Girls. I think that’s the perfect show for crunchy leaves and hot chocolate.
Okay, here me out. Selena + Chef is actually one of the best cooking shows I’ve watched. It’s all social distancing, so she’s facetiming with chefs, but it’s hilarious and informative because Selena Gomez is definitely no chef, so you get to share in her mistakes and learn essentially the true basics of cooking, since these chefs are actually teaching a novice. It’s great. I couldn’t stop laughing during Episode 6. And there are new episodes every Thursday.
I’ve also been mildly obsessed with the new T. Swift album. It is also low key been giving my fall vibes, and I love it. It’s probably the breakup album I had always needed for past relationships, and feels cathartic to listen to now.
Things I’ve Been Thinking
To be honest, this pandemic has been a roller coaster of emotions for me, as I’m sure it has been for everyone. I’ve battled anxiety and depression throughout the whole of it on top of being moved around from department to department in my hospital as a nurse. It’s so much better now, but at the beginning of the pandemic, I swear I was coming home from work just in complete tears and panic attacks over the constant changing policies and the uncertainty if knowing I’d keep my job because of low patient census. It’s taken a while to get to this point, but I’m finally feeling comfortable in my job. But I’m still worried as to what the future holds as students return to school.
It doesn’t change the fact that I feel stuck, though.
I’ve also been feeling very insecure with myself and who I am as a person. In the past, I always thought that being “easy going” would make me an easier person to get a long with, but me trying to be so…malleable to other people’s interests and not voicing what I like or want has got me feeling that I’m actually extremely boring, because I seem like I don’t know what I like. Which makes me think I more obsess over what people think of me, when I should be thinking about how I think of myself. It’s gonna take some time getting used to that mentality.